Sunday, January 29, 2012

Insane in the membrane! no brain!

Have I stepped into the twilight zone? or am I still asleep and having the most vivid and longest dream of my life because last couple weeks of life feel like one big blur. I enjoyed the holidays and our little "vacation" to Minnesota  for my cousins wedding but ever since we returned I feel like I have to adjust to a new meaning of "everyday life".

It feels as if everything around my just sped up to like super sonic warp speed in a blink of an eye. First off time...time feels like a figment of my imagination. A lovely lofty idea in which I can make and hold a schedule and have left over moments for a hobby or say a social life. Time no longer exists in my world. I am officially on the crazy train headed straight to where ever the heck this train derails and throws me off. My days and weeks have turned from scheduled events and things to look forward to; into a time where I open my eyes in the morning, blink and its 11pm and I have no time to do a single thing I was suppose to accomplish that day.

My adorable, silly and very energetic son has turned into a hurricane of flip-flopping emotions and screams of "I love you mama" to "NO WAY." and "Go away mama." or my current favorite "NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NOOOOOOOO". We used to love running errands and going grocery shopping now I find myself eating cereal for 3 meals a day, accompanied by 10 cups of coffee praying I can put off going to the store with my insane mini-human for just one more day.

Now, don't get me wrong, Asher is a great little kid. So much fun, so loving, so creative has the biggest imagination but...haha and that is a very large BUT, he has his mothers and his fathers need for independence and our attitudes. If you know anything about Jacob and I you should know already that when I say Asher has our need for independence...that is a big UH OH. Add in the fact that he has our very stubborn some what sassy attitudes you can imagine the treat I'm in for. Allow me to remind you this mini human we created is ONLY 2 years and 8 months old! I can't even imagine what the years to come are going to bring my way.

So here I am, in this transition of moving on and adjusting to a new normal. Its rough, its exhausting and its a total mix of emotions but I have to admit it is also a lot of fun. Watching this amazing little thing that we created and that I freaking grew in my belly for 9 months start talking, and having an imagination and his own personality is just mind blowing. I just pray that God gives me the wisdom and strength to raise this little monster into the man that God has called him to be. I also pray that I am strong enough, and patient enough to remember to focus of the important things in life so that I may become the mother, wife and woman God has planned and needs me to become.