I'm starting to realize just how much I dislike, well lets rephrase that...how much I HATE making such big decisions. The process of the back and forth, the pros and cons and all the emotion that gets poured into big decisions just sucks the energy and life out me. Or so it feels. Its a crazy roller coaster of back and forth and back and forth...love this, hate that. I'm so tired of feeling like a flip-flop. I have such unrest about both sides of this. I think no matter what decision is made I'm probably not going to enjoy the out come. That's where I know my God will come along side me and give me peace but I just wish I could fast forward everything and get to that point. I know He is with me even now during this exhausting process but to honest it doesn't make it much easier. Which God never promised life would be easy, He just promised we wouldn't be tested with more than we can handle and He will never let us go at it alone.
I guess this post today is me working through these feelings of unrest and reminding myself that even though I'm not exactly happy about all of this...I know it will work out. It always does. I even start to question if we make a bigger deal out of the "big decisions" in life than we really need to. I mean yeah it may not be something to take lightly but we believe God is in control and He ultimately will guide our path and protect us and be with us why should we stress and make such a huge deal out of it? So it doesn't work out....God's got it. Maybe it works out flawlessly...God's got that too. I know this could insanely hard but I can't help but stop and take a step back and stop listening to all of the human answers and think maybe it will be insanely easy. Or at the very least be insanely hard but completely worth it.
I can't sit here and think that one side is good and one is bad. I mean one is more comfortable and the other is a stretch that's obvious but is a stretch a bad thing? I've always been an optimist so maybe this is just my positive nature coming out but I choose to believe that all thing....ALL THINGS work together for good. God tells us so. So why not buckle up, hang on and go for one hell of ride? God's got this right?
Well, there we have it ladies and gents....once again blogging has helped establish and reset my mumble jumble of a brain and thinking patterns. Its all going to be okay, no matter what happens. It won't be the end of the world. Just a new chapter in this huge book known as my life. I'm a free spirit and my soul is so adventurous...how can I not put this in God's hands and make the best of every situation?
Look out world, I got my Jesus and my optimist smile...Its all going to be okay. A few tears? maybe...but its going to be okay. I KNOW IT.
I'll leave my current fav song. This song just describes my heart though this process and all the time really but more so recently. I know I can't do this alone.